Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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