So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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