Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I need to align my fucking chakras
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
