I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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