It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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