using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize