It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize