Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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