i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
this boner is exhausting
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
