She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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