"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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