i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Found the puke drawer
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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