I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
