people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
