she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
