i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
