Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
