She's JV to your varsity
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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