I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
