you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
