it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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