somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
