I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We need a shit load of segways right now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
