Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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