I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
