i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
