i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
