Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
