brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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