we're blogging at a bar
now i know why i became what i already was.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
