i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
