I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
