Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
