We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
