We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
