All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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