we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
