so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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