i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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