talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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