hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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