I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize