Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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