the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
