yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
