OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize