I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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