I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
