i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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