just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
