This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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