He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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