I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We need to get me chipped asap
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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