I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
