Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
