Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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