HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize