Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
