do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
