Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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