So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
