hotel room ftw
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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