It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
wow bdsm is so cute
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
