so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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