she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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