my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
