genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
