she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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