# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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