Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
