are you so shy because you have an std?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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