He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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