When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
