Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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